The journal of Harry Potter
by sillysophielovesharry
Summary: The summer after Harry defeated Voldemort. H/G&R/Hr. Harry is re-doing his 7th year at Hogwarts! What will happen? Give it a chance please :D
1. Of slimy gits and gnomes

The Journal Of Harry Potter

**Disclaimer: Don't own!**

**A/N – if your reading my other story, sorry I've stopped. I couldn't be bothered finishing it but I'll get back to it eventually!**

July 20.

I'm at The Burrow!

Yay.

Well, where else would I go?

I just killed the most powerful wizard on earth and I left the Dursley's a year ago.

And this September I'm re-doing my 7th year at Hogwarts.

That means I can stare at Ginny all over again.

Wait who do I think I am?

The boy who lived?

Well, actually I am.

And it all started 16 years ago.

Cutting a long story short: my parents died in the hands of Voldemort, I lived, got an ugly cut on my forehead, and went to Hogwarts.

Met Quirrel. Creepy old fart.

Met Snape. Slimy git.

Met Dumbledore. Nutter if I ever met one.

Then Ron and Hermione. Best friends ever.

So basically that's my life summed up in one go.

Must go Mrs Weasley made steak and kidney pie.

Might sit next to Ginny.

Must remember to charm this paper so she doesn't read it.

That would be bad.

She has 6 brothers that are all good with a wand.

She also has about 50 gnomes that I've been scared of since the summer before 2nd year.

-Shudder-

**Erg. Not to please with this. Oh well. Review and tell me if you like it or I should lump it!**

**Howlers allowed :)**


	2. Of barging in and therapy

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

July 21.

Oh bugger.

Stupid Harry.

Thick Harry.

You'd think that if a door is closed with a "DO NOT DISTURB" sign on the handle you wouldn't go in.

Well I don't listen to rules, as it was Ron's room and I'm sleeping in there, I took no notice and barged in.

Then I saw things.

Things I didn't want to see.

Things that made me want to jump off the Astronomy Tower.

Things that wanted to make me poke my eyes out with a quill.

RON WEASLEY AND HERMIONE GRANGER.

Need I say any more?

I am scarred for life!

Maybe next time I should knock.

- - - - - -

Still July 21st

Damn it.

I did it _again!_

They were doing something much worse this time.

Must consider a therapist.

- - - - - -

July 30

Haven't written in a while.

I've caught them at it about 10 more times; they don't even bother to shut the door anymore.

I've got used to it now though.

Hey guess what journal-that-isn't-a-diary-because-_men_-don't-have-diaries!

It's my birthday tomorrow!

-SQUEEEE-

Oops, it seems I said that out loud.

Charlie gave me a funny look.

Who even gave me this dia-JOURNAL anyway?

Ahah!

Mr Weasley.

I believe the correct words were,

"Harry, I understand you've been through a lot lately. So I gave you this book to write in, BUT DON'T LOOK ON THE FIRST PAGE."

So naturally I looked and what did I find?

9 ducks. A Family of ducks. With bright red hair.

Ducks don't even HAVE hair!

But they look cute so I kept them.

…

I actually can't believe I just said that.

I sounded like such a girl!

I'm _not_ a girl.

Not that I know of anyway.

…If I _was_ a girl, I'd so date myself.

- - - - - -

**What d'you think? Review please! Tell me if Harry's going a bit out of character? I need him to have **_**some**_** fun!**


	3. Of Pongy and Nip

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**A/N – I know some of you said Harry was a little OoC. Yeah I know but we need him to have some fun! If you just defeated the biggest Dark Wizard around, you'd want to have some fun too, right? Right. :)**

- - - - - -

July 31.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

I'm 18 at last!

And I decided I like my family of ducks.

I named them.

But anyway, I got a pensive!

In fact it turns out I inherited it from my mum and dad.

It has PRONGS LILY on the side, but it took me a while to figure it out… it looks more like PONGY NIP.

Then it said LOVES PADFOOT, MOONY AND WORMTAIL! After PONGY NIP.

I have a distinct feeling Sirius wrote that.

So then I got loads of boxes of Chocolate Frogs, Bertie Botts and Dungbombs from Ron. He also got me the new addition of 12 Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches.

I particularly like chapter 16.

"_Chat-up lines._

_If said witch does not seem interested, use any of our fail-safe chat up lines such as;_

'_Is that a space suit you're wearing, because that bum is out of this world!'_

_Or_

'_If you were a bogie I would pick you first.'_

_Or_

'_Your dad must have been a thief, because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes!'_

_Cont. on next page"_

See isn't it great?

OH DEAR GOD! I JUST ATE A CHOCOLATE FROG AND YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHO WAS ON THE CARD!

ME!

MOI!

HARRY!

If life couldn't get any more embarrassing…

'_Harry Potter._

_He enjoys spending time with his friends and playing Quidditch. _

_Harry Potter is particularly famous for his defeat of the Dark Wizard Voldemort._

_He dislikes any shade of pink.'_

Oh my god.

I must remember to burn that.

They even have _underpants_ with my face on.

Ginny got me a pair for my birthday.

Well I haven't really spoken to her properly since my 17th birthday. This time last year we were snogging in her bedroom.

Curse Ron and his tendency to butt in.

- - - - - -

Later, July 31

I'm sat here with my diary after dinner.

Practically the whole wizarding world was there!

Not quite.

But more than enough.

I even told Mrs Weasley I didn't want loads of people.

_**FLASHBACK**_

"Hey Ron, want to go play some Quidditch?"

"Yeah, OK."

_**END OF FLASHBACK**_

Fine.

Maybe I forgot.

It's kind of lonely without Remus and Tonks…

But Teddy and Andromeda came and Teddy kept us all entertained.

And by entertained I mean he kept changing the colour of his eyes and hair, so that by the end of the meal one eye was turquoise, the other was pink and his hair was peri-winkle blue.

- - - - - -

**I tried to make him more in character this chapter. Did it work? Let me know and click the pretty blue button!**


	4. Of rambling and Lancelot

**Please don't kill me! I haven't updated in like a million years I know. I've been busy.**

**Disclaimer: Can't I just use one big one? I'm not J.K Rowling.**

- - - - - -

August 5.

I did the stupidest thing yesterday.

More mortifying then bursting in on Ron and Hermione.

Ok so there I was, taking my washing down to Mrs Weasley and I just so happened to bump into Ginny on the first floor…

"Hello Harry."

And then as I'm not great at handling situations very well I said, "Do you come here often?"

Any more embarrassing?

Just wait.

Ginny gave me a look and said, "I live here."

"I-I knew that I was just testing you. You know 18 out of 20 people forget where they live. But your one of the 2 people who remembers. So that's good. But it's a good job then or else you could just like walk into a random bar and go I LIVE HERE. As long as you remember, that's just jolly good isn't it?"

During my ramble I didn't notice she backed away slowly.

I nearly melted and died. This would be the part of a book where someone would say "We are sorry to inform you Harry Potter has just been avada kedavra-ed."

I sort of ran away to find Hermione because she's a girl and she'd know what to do.

She wasn't helpful.

"Do you know what my Uncle Lancelot would say at a time like this?" she said.

"Why did my parents decide to call me Lancelot?" I asked.

She ignored me; I wonder why. "No he'd say 'you're screwed'"

She squirmed at the bad word. Bless her.

- - - - - -

August 7 3:15pm.

We got our Hogwarts letters today!

I'm head boy!

I think the only rule I keep would be attending class and sometimes I don't even listen to that.

Oh god you'll never guess whose head girl…

GINNY.

That means I have to spend more time with her.

Good.

But if I keep reading that stupid book I'll just embarrass myself.

Bad.

Maybe I should go out with someone else and imagine she's Ginny.

Or he.

If I swung that way…

But I don't.

Or do I?

No. I don't.

…Stupid diary you WANT to see me get embarrassed don't you!

THAT'S why you're here. You live to taunt me.

Well I'm not going to talk to you ever again.

Goodbye.

August 7 3:19pm.

I hate you right now, diary.

I just wanted to tell you its Ginny's birthday in 3 days and if you could give me any tips about what to get her, that would be great.

I think Rita Skeeter is right for once in her life.

I'm delusional.

I'm talking to a diary.

Merlin help me before I start talking to my shoes.

- - - - - -

**Free cookies to everyone who reviews! The pretty blue button needs clicking!**


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